Yesterday I said goodbye to my friend Ida, she is heading to Uyuni to see the salt flats and then on to a combination of Chile and Argentina, skipping back and forth across the border. She took a taxi to the bus terminal around 6pm yesterday. Saying goodbye was anticlimactic, we have already learned that despite our goodbyes we will always be seeing eachother again (planned or unplanned), but the loneliness I felt after she left was very real.
Traveling WITH someone has been an entirely different experience. I felt myself relaxing in certain ways, knowing that with two eyes watching everything around us I didn´t have to be quite as alert as usual, knowing that I wasn´t the only one completely confused by situations, knowing that I could count on always hearing Ida´s signature ¨ho-hum, goodnight¨ before drifting off to sleep in shared double-beds, crowded dorm rooms, our carnaval sick room and at the bed we shared here at the Barja´s. Being with someone that knew enough about me to understand (tolerate) some of my travel idiocyncracies, my constant journaling, the way my backpack completely explodes creating chaos the moment I set it down in the corner of whereever I stay, my inability to read less than three books at a time, walks being interrupted by taking photos of graffiti (something that actually started to rub off on Ida) and how a lot of my favorite activities in travel are not activities planned for travelers. I like to set out on the city, town, whereever and find art, community shows, people creating things, and learn about what they are doing, how they are doing it, and if I can join in. I would rather go to a small art exhibition openning than to see this-that-or-the-other in the guidebook. I also am drawn to organizations, to people doing something about whatever it is they are passionate about... especially when it comes back to indigenous solidarity or solidarity in a movement. So for me, although I know the salt flats are something incredible to see, I know that there are many times when going on a tour and taking the same photos that everyone takes just feels a little bit empty...or rehearsed...or just a little too unreal to me. So I need days like yesterday, where Maria from Mujeres Creando was not there for me to ask ask ask every question I have thought of, but I found other ways to take in the surroundings of the great building and read about more of their programs and then I met some comic book artists having coffee in the Mujeres Creando restaurant-cafe and was welcomed to look through their works.
The drawback to having a travel partner is when it limits your interaction with people who are from the places you are visiting, so you have to find a balance between going out and exploring together (juntas) or separate. I can´t say that I really found this balance while Ida and I were together. I did have some alone time, but I didn´t feel as motivated to go out and meet people or go out and make my own observations as much as I usually do. During carnaval I had little choice about experiencing the majority without Ida because she was sick in bed, so when I wasn´t playing nurse I was playing in the streets.
Another aspect that puts me at odds with traveling partners in general is my relationship to travel, that this is my first trip outside the US and Canada and my travels are sometimes more of a challenge for me than a vacation. Because despite this being the most amazing opportunity of a life-time, being away from home and any sort of planned predictable week for 8 months can also be difficult. I admit there have been times when I have felt banished from my life in Washington, in Omak, in Seattle, at UW. Expelled from these places until I can come back with the thoughts, feelings, lessons, experiences that 8 months abroad doles out in the best and worst of moments. I feel bad for sounding like I am complaining, because this has been the best 3 or so months of my life (feels more like 3 years for sure)... but what I am trying to express is that the nature of my travels is different from the other backpackers and vacationers I have met and this makes traveling solo almost easier. Add on top of that the fact that there is no destination that for me is a place that I am going to ¨party¨, I don´t want to spend my time drinking with a bunch of travelers anywhere, especially not spending an evening where I just stay inside of the hostel at a hostel bar, not even setting foot in the real world, in the place I have traveled to (and people do this! I have seen it!).
Back on subject: At the same time I let the negative media attention about Bolivia get the best of me and really don´t know if I would have come without her. And although I saw no riots (only a bit of evidence here and there that they ever happened) and I wasn´t caught in any floods (although this did limit where I could travel) I have to say that Bolivia did not feel like the friendliest or safest of countries I have visited. I had heard from other travelers that the people of Bolivia seem more reserved about getting to know travelers and this does seem like truth to an extent, but with a travel partner I made less attempts and had less opportunity to test this generalization.
Traveling with Ida also raised my awareness about areas of my social interactions or interpersonal relations, if you will. I may have relaxed a bit with the sense of comfort and safety of having a traveling partner, but on the other hand there were times when I had a heightened sense of needing to put effort into conversation and planning and compromising. I could tell at times that my satisfaction, my enjoying the little things or making perhaps an excessive amount of observations aloud and in my journal where not entertaining for Ida and this was a little distressing. I most of all noticed how protective I was of Ida, even before she was ill and how much I did all I could to make everything easier for her or to meet her wants and needs.
This reminds me most of my childhood friends, Ashley, Whitney, Katie, and how much I wanted to take care of them and never complain... and scratch punch and kick anyone who messed with them. This runs into a lot of constructs of gender and race in my mind because I remember never really felt I fit into the world of these childhood friends, a world where being the ideal girl (the epitome of girl-ness) was blue eyes, blonde hair and frailty... and so with my tom-boy tough girl nature I felt like the protector and strength within those friendships.
My most pronounced observations of having a travel partner took place when Ida and I went to the Isla del Sol and spent the day hiking from the south end of island to the north, with no particular trail to follow for most of the trek. I realized how well Ida and I work together, how insync we are with taking turns being the lead, whether that meant walking first or making decisions or both. At times we would decide on a point we could see that we would need to get to and take different routes to get there, different routes suited to our different immediate preferences (me finding the best way to go with my knee troubles), but the outcome being the same. What a perfect day that was overall, why did I stop blogging for so long instead of writing right after some of these great experiences?!?
That too, I think, was the result of having a travel companion, I forgot how much I want to tell everyone at home about my travels and instead spent much more time talking about home with Ida. Exchanging stories from our homes and our travels and learning about eachothers cultures and perspectives on what we were seeing hearing and eating.
To combat the twinge of loneliness I felt after Ida left I got together the last package I will send home from South America, I am sooo excited about the space that this will create in my backpack!!! I actually should really get my mess of stuff organized again for my flight tomorrow to Santiago. Then I have prescriptions to fill, a package to send, and time to meet with Maria of Mujeres Creando.
Traveling WITH someone has been an entirely different experience. I felt myself relaxing in certain ways, knowing that with two eyes watching everything around us I didn´t have to be quite as alert as usual, knowing that I wasn´t the only one completely confused by situations, knowing that I could count on always hearing Ida´s signature ¨ho-hum, goodnight¨ before drifting off to sleep in shared double-beds, crowded dorm rooms, our carnaval sick room and at the bed we shared here at the Barja´s. Being with someone that knew enough about me to understand (tolerate) some of my travel idiocyncracies, my constant journaling, the way my backpack completely explodes creating chaos the moment I set it down in the corner of whereever I stay, my inability to read less than three books at a time, walks being interrupted by taking photos of graffiti (something that actually started to rub off on Ida) and how a lot of my favorite activities in travel are not activities planned for travelers. I like to set out on the city, town, whereever and find art, community shows, people creating things, and learn about what they are doing, how they are doing it, and if I can join in. I would rather go to a small art exhibition openning than to see this-that-or-the-other in the guidebook. I also am drawn to organizations, to people doing something about whatever it is they are passionate about... especially when it comes back to indigenous solidarity or solidarity in a movement. So for me, although I know the salt flats are something incredible to see, I know that there are many times when going on a tour and taking the same photos that everyone takes just feels a little bit empty...or rehearsed...or just a little too unreal to me. So I need days like yesterday, where Maria from Mujeres Creando was not there for me to ask ask ask every question I have thought of, but I found other ways to take in the surroundings of the great building and read about more of their programs and then I met some comic book artists having coffee in the Mujeres Creando restaurant-cafe and was welcomed to look through their works.
The drawback to having a travel partner is when it limits your interaction with people who are from the places you are visiting, so you have to find a balance between going out and exploring together (juntas) or separate. I can´t say that I really found this balance while Ida and I were together. I did have some alone time, but I didn´t feel as motivated to go out and meet people or go out and make my own observations as much as I usually do. During carnaval I had little choice about experiencing the majority without Ida because she was sick in bed, so when I wasn´t playing nurse I was playing in the streets.
Another aspect that puts me at odds with traveling partners in general is my relationship to travel, that this is my first trip outside the US and Canada and my travels are sometimes more of a challenge for me than a vacation. Because despite this being the most amazing opportunity of a life-time, being away from home and any sort of planned predictable week for 8 months can also be difficult. I admit there have been times when I have felt banished from my life in Washington, in Omak, in Seattle, at UW. Expelled from these places until I can come back with the thoughts, feelings, lessons, experiences that 8 months abroad doles out in the best and worst of moments. I feel bad for sounding like I am complaining, because this has been the best 3 or so months of my life (feels more like 3 years for sure)... but what I am trying to express is that the nature of my travels is different from the other backpackers and vacationers I have met and this makes traveling solo almost easier. Add on top of that the fact that there is no destination that for me is a place that I am going to ¨party¨, I don´t want to spend my time drinking with a bunch of travelers anywhere, especially not spending an evening where I just stay inside of the hostel at a hostel bar, not even setting foot in the real world, in the place I have traveled to (and people do this! I have seen it!).
Back on subject: At the same time I let the negative media attention about Bolivia get the best of me and really don´t know if I would have come without her. And although I saw no riots (only a bit of evidence here and there that they ever happened) and I wasn´t caught in any floods (although this did limit where I could travel) I have to say that Bolivia did not feel like the friendliest or safest of countries I have visited. I had heard from other travelers that the people of Bolivia seem more reserved about getting to know travelers and this does seem like truth to an extent, but with a travel partner I made less attempts and had less opportunity to test this generalization.
Traveling with Ida also raised my awareness about areas of my social interactions or interpersonal relations, if you will. I may have relaxed a bit with the sense of comfort and safety of having a traveling partner, but on the other hand there were times when I had a heightened sense of needing to put effort into conversation and planning and compromising. I could tell at times that my satisfaction, my enjoying the little things or making perhaps an excessive amount of observations aloud and in my journal where not entertaining for Ida and this was a little distressing. I most of all noticed how protective I was of Ida, even before she was ill and how much I did all I could to make everything easier for her or to meet her wants and needs.
This reminds me most of my childhood friends, Ashley, Whitney, Katie, and how much I wanted to take care of them and never complain... and scratch punch and kick anyone who messed with them. This runs into a lot of constructs of gender and race in my mind because I remember never really felt I fit into the world of these childhood friends, a world where being the ideal girl (the epitome of girl-ness) was blue eyes, blonde hair and frailty... and so with my tom-boy tough girl nature I felt like the protector and strength within those friendships.
My most pronounced observations of having a travel partner took place when Ida and I went to the Isla del Sol and spent the day hiking from the south end of island to the north, with no particular trail to follow for most of the trek. I realized how well Ida and I work together, how insync we are with taking turns being the lead, whether that meant walking first or making decisions or both. At times we would decide on a point we could see that we would need to get to and take different routes to get there, different routes suited to our different immediate preferences (me finding the best way to go with my knee troubles), but the outcome being the same. What a perfect day that was overall, why did I stop blogging for so long instead of writing right after some of these great experiences?!?
That too, I think, was the result of having a travel companion, I forgot how much I want to tell everyone at home about my travels and instead spent much more time talking about home with Ida. Exchanging stories from our homes and our travels and learning about eachothers cultures and perspectives on what we were seeing hearing and eating.
To combat the twinge of loneliness I felt after Ida left I got together the last package I will send home from South America, I am sooo excited about the space that this will create in my backpack!!! I actually should really get my mess of stuff organized again for my flight tomorrow to Santiago. Then I have prescriptions to fill, a package to send, and time to meet with Maria of Mujeres Creando.
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